How Do I Know When My Baby is Ready to Play?
Recognizing and responding to your baby’s cues.
For babies, play is not just about toys. It’s about back and forth interactions between you and your baby. Learning to recognize and respond to your baby’s cues and body language is key to meeting baby’s needs and building your confidence as a parent. You don’t need expensive toys or the latest high-tech gadgets to help your baby grow and develop. All he needs is you.
Your baby’s body language and cues can give you clues as to how he is feeling and what he needs from you. You can tell whether he’s tired, hungry, wide awake and ready to play, or needs a break. When you recognize and respond to your baby’s cues, he feels safe, secure, and loved. Interaction, by interaction, you are building a strong relationship with your baby.
By observing your baby, you will notice that they move between sleep and awake states. Some babies may move easily between the states and other babies may need more help making and maintaining the transitions. By listening and watching your baby’s body, mouth and eyes, you are honoring and supporting their non-verbal language. Figuring out what he needs at any given time will be rewarding for you as a parent and help strengthen the unique bond between you.
Recognizing and responding to your baby’s awake and alert cues is the best time to introduce play activities. And remember that anything from singing a song to your baby as you change his diaper to cooing and smiling back and forth with him is important for learning and development. Special signs that your baby is alert and ready for play may include:
Direct eye contact with you
Eye widening and brightening
An intent concentrated expression on his face as he studies you
The body becomes still or your baby begins waving his arms or kicking his legs in excitement
Smiling
Some babies may even form their mouth in an “o” in anticipation of interaction with you
When you see these signs, it is optimal to extend the interactions and introduce play activities.
Your baby’s visual skills are one of the strongest developed senses at birth. He can make eye contact immediately at birth and by three months, he prefers bright colors, strong contrasts (like black and white), and visual surprises.
To strengthen your baby’s skills you can practice “tracking” a moving object with his eyes.
Sit in a comfortable chair with your knees up. Place your baby on your lap, facing you with his head and body supported by your legs or have baby lying well supported on their backs. Get your baby’s attention by softly talking to him. Slowly move your face from side to side as you continue talking to him, encouraging him to follow your face, maintaining eye contact. Or hold an interesting, colorful toy about 8-10 inches above their face. Slowly move the toy from side to side as baby maintains his gaze on it. If he loses on the toy, bring it back to the middle and start over again. Try to bring it farther and farther to the side each time you move it.
Once baby can maintain his gaze on a moving toy to each side, try moving the toy slowly up and down.
Progress to moving the toy in a diagonal direction while baby maintains his gaze on the toy
Progress to practicing visual tracking as described above when baby is in different positions including when baby is lying on his stomach and lifting his head, and sitting up while well supported on your lap
Other fun variations include establishing eye contact with your baby while talking to him then placing a colorful sticker somewhere on your face – your cheek, your forehead, your chin, your nose and watch for your baby’s reaction. After a few minutes, move the sticker somewhere else on your face and watch your baby find the new spot.
To help baby engage and respond to facial expressions, try applying a bold colored lipstick to your lips. Holding your baby in a relaxed, well-supported position so he can see your face, have some fun as you exaggerate your mouth movements as you talk to him, sing to him, make kissing motions, click your tongue, round your mouth to “coo” at him, blow raspberries, whistle.
Other fun activities to try while baby is awake, alert, and receptive to play include:
Massage baby’s arms, legs, trunk, and face with gentle, firm strokes. Sing softly to him and label each body part as you massage it.
Gather a variety of textures from around the house including soft, silky, rough, bumpy, etc. Rub baby’s body with each texture, describing what you are doing. Gently open the hands and massage the palm with each texture, encouraging baby to relax and open hands.
Don’t be discouraged if you start to see cues that your baby may need to “take a break”.
These signs can include:
Looking away and breaking eye contact with you
Turning his head away from you
Squirming or fussing
Change in his breathing pattern or yawning
Crying
When you recognize these “take a break” signs, it is a good idea to change activities or give baby some quiet time with cuddling or feeding. Then be alert for the next time your baby may be ready to try some more learning activities. As baby grows, you will start to notice these periods of alertness will become longer and longer. And as you and your baby get to know each other better, you’ll figure out the best ways to respond to your baby’s cues. Watching, and responding to see how he reacts to, manages, and responds to these activities will give you very helpful information. You will begin to know what and how much play your baby enjoys, how to recognize when they need a break and how to comfort them when they become upset. You got this!
WANT MORE?
For developmental questions, tips and guidance related to milestones about tummy time, rolling & sitting, crawling and walking, check out KC’s developmental Masterclasses linked here.
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KC is a pediatric doctor of physical therapy, wife and mom of three! She has spent her career working with children and young adults of all ability levels, and currently specializes in birth to three years.